Eating Disorder Isolation

There is a great deal of loneliness that comes with any eating disorder. I have felt this on and off ever since the beginning of my struggles. It is often difficult for me to connect with others, because I have been in my own world for so long that I have trouble relating to others. This realization, along with the fact that I have high anxiety in social situations, has often made me feel hopeless and depressed. This feeling is often alleviated though, by keeping myself busy. Unfortunately, the past couple summers have been slow and slightly boring. The monotony of time has made me question my significance and importance. Luckily the school year will start soon, and my schedule will pick up the pace! In order to get past the isolation, I need to break through the self-doubt and discomfort in order to establish positive and lasting relationships. This will be a continual struggle, but I am looking forward to opening myself up to new opportunities in the near future. 

Normal vs. Healthy

The words normal and healthy are often linked when it comes to diet and exercise. These words are so linked that they are often used interchangeably without hesitation. Unfortunately, these words each represent something different, and equating the two ideas insinuates that what is normal must be healthy, and if something is not normal, it must be unhealthy. This is obviously false when looking at the rate of obesity and health problems in the U.S. today. It is not uncommon to hear that someone is obese or on countless medications, and yet people do not say that these things are healthy, despite the fact that they appear normal.

One of the greatest problems with defining either normal or healthy is that they are socially constructed ideas that often change. One could ask 100 people what each of these words means and receive 100 different ideas. Not only do individuals disagree on what these words mean, but research and science have been unable to come to a consensus either.

Probably the biggest reason that people cannot agree about these words is that they all have different priorities. Health may pertain to physical, social, spiritual, emotional, etc. Depending on what is important to a person, they may place health of one area as more important than another, but may also change their opinion over time. On the other hand, normal is constantly changing as society changes.

Unfortunately, the word abnormal has gotten a bad rap. In many cases, the word abnormal can actually be quite positive. For instance, look at the athletes who compete in the Olympics. These individuals are definitely not normal, they are extraordinary. This may mean that other parts of their lives get put on hold. To the average person, the lives of these athletes would appear extreme and unhealthy in many areas. Even with this knowledge, people do not believe this lifestyle to be negative, because the context makes is socially acceptable. People will often say something like, "of course these individuals sacrifice a great deal, but they are competing for a gold medal". This means that most people believe that sacrificing "health" is only ok when they believe the reward is worth the sacrifice.

To anyone who chooses to live an extreme lifestyle, they must believe that the reward is worth the sacrifices they make. This reward may not be apparent to the average person, but is definitely a large part of the individual's life. This is why I believe it is important not to judge others because their lifestyle is not "normal". Anyone choosing to live differently has a higher purpose in mind, just as those criticizing the individual have purpose for whatever lifestyle they choose to live.   

Getting Fit!

A while ago I posted that I was going to start p90x. Unfortunately, this plan fizzled out not long after I started it. I really did not enjoy the workouts, and found the videos quite annoying. Even though this plan failed, I have since begun a new workout regime that I am hoping will suite me better. I have started doing workouts from bodyrock. These workouts are centered around home fitness, and can be found on youtube for free! I love that they are short and to the point, and yet have made me sweat every time I do them. These exercises focus on high intensity and short duration. I have been doing at least 1 workout 5-6 days a week for the last 3 weeks and can already see a change in my endurance/stamina. I am hoping to tone my body and decrease my body fat percentage. In combination with working out, I have begun transitioning to a more high protein diet. I am working to challenge my disordered thoughts, and channel my negative drive into a healthy lifestyle change. This is just one step in my long journey of recovery.

What is "normal" dieting?

Until recently, I believe I was in the dark about what constitutes normal dieting. Because I have had much experience with unhealthy diets, I was surprised when I joined Pinterest and discovered what individuals considered "normal" dieting. Many of my peers have special boards dedicated to weight loss and health, and to my surprise, many of the things they repinned seemed oddly familiar because I have seen them on pro-anorexia type sites, as well as engaged in many of the behaviors myself. This realization saddened me, but helped me better understand the reality of society and eating disorder recovery. Recovery from any addiction is extremely difficult, but recovery in a society that praises sickness is so much more difficult. I believe that recovery does not just pertain to people with eating disorders, but rather to all of society. So many people have disordered thoughts about food and their bodies that treating only those diagnosed would be like putting a bandaid on a bullet wound. I believe that "treatment" starts at home with parents. They have more influence usually than they realize, and often their influence stems from what they do, not what they say. I challenge everyone to start questioning these unhealthy ideas about food and body image!

Thoughts on Addiction

Ever since I can remember, I have always been addicted to something. Whether it was music, food, exercise, studying, watching tv or whatever else, I have always felt I needed something. This need has caused me to go to great lengths and do many things that probably seem outlandish or crazy. Unfortunately, the need is driven by a feeling of emptiness which is all encompassing at times. This emptiness has devoured me time and time again, until I become obsessed with finding my next "fix". Part of the obsession is the delusion that once I find the perfect fix, my thoughts will stop racing, the world will seem right again, and the hole inside me will fill up so I can feel complete. This quiet desperation has driven me to lie, cheat, steal and seclude myself from others.

I have often heard others discussing how sad the life of an addict must be. They pity them because they are controlled by an addiction greater then their own will. What many of them fail to understand is that addiction provides a level of comfort that the real world often cannot. Addiction is predictable and explainable. Most do not realize that real life can be so much more terrifying than living in addiction. This is why addicts must work hard to step out of their comfort zones and into the real world. This is something I am currently working on and often struggle with.

Apple Cider Vinegar - "the mother"

The benefits of apple cider vinegar are a relatively new concept to me. When I first started the candida diet, I avoided all vinegar because I was under the impression that all vinegars were the same. Since then, I have discovered a vinegar that can actually be helpful in fighting candida as well as many other ailments.  Apple cider vinegar is different from distilled vinegar because it contains "the mother" (there are some apple cider vinegars that do not contain the mother, steer clear of these because they have been heavily filtered and have lost the most beneficial parts). "The mother" is the scummy chunks that float around in the vinegar, and that often settle to the bottom of the container. This may seem unappetizing, but this "scum" is an excellent antibacterial and and cleansing agent. ACV is one of the few products that is all around healthy. Some of the uses for ACV are: cleaning/disinfecting, treating yeast/candida, getting rid of acne, reducing acid reflux, increasing metabolism, treating allergies, and flushing out excess water weight. The taste of ACV may be the most unfortunate part about it. It has a very strong flavor which mixes well with other citrus flavors if you plan on drinking it. ACV can also be added to salad as a dressing, which I personally love! Other people will combine ACV with raw honey and drink it in hot water as a tea. No matter what the use, ACV will be sure to spice up any recipe you use it with!

The Candida Snack Shack: A Simple Nutmeg Smoothie

I have been trying to increase my protein intake lately, and one of the easiest ways to supplement a healthy diet is with whey protein. I have come up with a new and exciting smoothie recipe that tastes great and is very healthy! Hope you enjoy!

1 Tbls Salted Almond Butter (unsweetened)
7 Drops Stevia Extract
1 Cup Ice
4 Scoops Whey Protein (I used Standard Process, but any will do, including the NOW Product linked)
1/2-1 tsp Nutmeg
1/2 cup water

Add all ingredients and then blend until consistency is smooth.

Reducing Water Weight and Cleansing the Body

I believe one of the most frustrating things to wake up to is water bloat. During these kind of days I usually feel uncomfortable showing off my body and wearing tight fitting clothing. I usually grab my sweat pants and wish I could stay home. This may seem extreme, but I believe many people feel uncomfortable in their bodies to begin with, and water weight only adds to this discomfort. Water retention can be caused by a large variety of things, including excessive sodium consumption, hormones, nutritional deficiencies, prescription pills and a variety of diagnoses. There are abundance of different solutions for water retention, and the cause will often determine what method works best. 

My water retention is mild, and comes and goes throughout the month. In order to combat this annoyance, I drink a glass of water with fresh lemon juice and sometimes apple cider vinegar (must contain "the mother"). The ratio I usually use is 1 cup water: 1 whole lemon: 1/2-1 tsp ACV. The ACV can be very overpowering, so I suggest going easy on it to begin with. Both lemon and ACV have diuretic type properties, and will help cleanse your body. I enjoy drinking this first thing in the morning so I am sure to start out my day with a glass of water (which will also help reduce bloating).

Another thing that I often take is called Colax (a standard process supplement). This supplement contains dandelion root which is also known to reduce water retention. There are a variety of other natural remedies that can be used as well including: caffeine, parsley, green tea, garlic, celery, and onion. These things can be eaten or made into an herbal tea. I often find that natural remedies work better for me than using over the counter water pills!

Spry Gum

A few months ago I made a decision to quit smoking (again). I have been attempting to quit for quite some time now, and I usually make it a few months and then for some unimaginable reason, start up again. During the process of trying to find an alternative for my habit, I found Spry gum. I was ecstatic because this gum had NO artificial sweeteners in it! I have stayed away from gum in the past because most gum contains these unhealthy ingredients. So after some digging around the internet, I found that Spry gum contains xylitol. I went to my local health food store and bought cinnamon and green tea flavors. I have actually been rather impressed with both flavors. They are unfortunately chewier than I would like, and the flavor does not last as long as one would hope. This gum also runs a little pricier than regular gum. This being said, I would still recommend giving this gum a try if you are looking to satisfy a sweet craving or even quit smoking. If you do not have a health food store around your home, you can order spry products on Amazon.com