Stimulant Addiction

For many years now, I have struggled with an enormous amount of fatigue and exhaustion. Perhaps this harsh reality stemmed from countless years of eating disordered behavior and psychiatric medications, specifically Topamax; but either way, I often feel I lack the energy required for many daily activities. Unfortunately, in a feeble attempt to manage the debilitating fatigue, I resorted to using various stimulants over the years: energy drinks, caffeine pills, diet supplements, vitamins, and OTC medications.

My stimulant use may have began as a way to manage fatigue, but it progressed into a physical, mental and psychological dependency. Not only did I feel a greater sense of happiness and joy when I took stimulants, but I also felt thinner and often ate less, which only fueled my eating disorder addiction. Stimulants also make me more outgoing and often decrease my social anxiety. All of these reasons made stimulants an integral part of my every day, which allowed me to live the life I so desperately wanted. My stimulant abuse continued for many years, waxing and waning, and often the times I chose to decrease stimulant use was only a method to increase their effectiveness once I started taking them again.  

It was not until recently that I realized how unmanageable my fatigue and stimulant use had become. I often take caffeine pills in the morning and afternoon, and for a while was dependent on asthma medications to keep me going throughout the day. I began to notice the various side effects taking a toll on my body: acne, anxiety, irritability, headaches, and eventually total exhaustion unalleviated by stimulants. It was then that I decided to clean up my act and work on healing my body. I am currently in the process of decreasing my stimulant use, and increasing my vitamin and supplement use in an effort to normalize my adrenals and general hormone function. I am also looking to start exercising on a more regular basis and increase the amount of hours I sleep to at least 8-10 every night.